Amateur Autographs From Professional Athletes

It is again with sadness that I start a blog off with a moment of remembrance. Former Penn State football coach Joe Paterno has passed away from complications of chemotherapy treatment of his lung cancer. Many people will grill me and say that Joe Paterno has no reason to be remembered as his moral decision making was questioned after the Jerry Sandusky incidents involving innocent children, but I am here to remember Joe Paterno the football coach that numerous players, past and present, look up to as a role model in the life values he stood for. I ask that you remember Joe Paterno for all the good he did and not just the recent bad. With that being said our thoughts and prayers go out to the Joe Paterno family and supporters who mourn his loss. Joe Paterno was 85.

Fellow headhunters, today I would like to introduce a personal annoyance of mine: professional athletes' autographs. To be more specific: the fact that they "sign" their name on a piece of paraphernalia and you cannot  read the signature makes we want to deliver a stiff two-hander to the back of the calves. These athletes are paid millions of dollars to play a game that we as fans pay good money to watch, so you think that they could at least make their signature somewhat legible. 

Some terrible examples of a signature are as follows:

Corey Perry

Evgeni Malkin

Alexander Ovechkin

After viewing these three disasters the first thing that comes to mind is why the f*** would anyone pay any amount of money to have their jersey ruined with these train wrecks of autographs. Check them for concussion like symptoms because you they are definitely not thinking straight. Evgeni Malkin's could be mistaken for calligraphy and possibly be one of the worst autographs in professional sports. Like are you serious?! I chose these three because they are relatively younger hockey stars who the everyday person can recognize. I just wish this generation and the ones to follow could sign autographs like these three gems.


Here is what constitutes as a true professional autograph:

Mike Modano

Teemu Selanne

Bobby Orr

Now those are autographs that belong on a jersey. These players come from a different generation where they realized that the only connection between a player and a fan was the autograph they provided to them. Today's generation is so caught up in the social media aspect, particularly Twitter, that they connect with them on a much closer level, eliminating the need to take the extra couple seconds to make a signature a true signature. Though the sign of a true professional lies in the signature. 


I do not know how anyone else feels about this but there is no bigger waste then going out and purchasing a jersey only to have some athlete scribble their so called autograph on it. It looks sloppy and rather unprofessional. So when you head to the rink next time, take a look at your favourite athlete and see if there signature is a professional signature, you will be shocked to see that a majority can not be made out. 


As always folks, thank you for reading and remember to keep your head up and concussions down!